Raising children is like being pecked to death by a chicken

Raising children is like being pecked to death by a chickenAs I sit here staring at my laptop and trying to come up with something clever to write it occurs to me that my mini case of writer’s block might just have something to do with my current mental state. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I’ve been depressed or any more anxious than normal but it has been a rough couple of weeks.

I am reminded of the wooden sign hanging in my mother’s kitchen that says,

“Raising children is like being pecked to death by a chicken”

The baby is fast approaching the terrible twos and is getting into EVERYTHING. I literally cannot turn my head for a second for fear that she will destroy something or worse, get hurt. On top of that my preschooler is going through a very defiant phase right now. She’s been pushing boundaries and whining constantly. And then there is the tween….enough said!

I have felt overwhelmed with all of this and during the very rare moments that I am able to sit and write I just can’t do it. My thoughts are swirling and jumbled in my head. They make no sense to me how can I expect them to make sense to anyone else?

Yesterday it all came to a head and I broke down. Out came all of the frustrations and resentments that have been brewing inside for quite some time. I have a bad habit of internalizing things and although I get irritated on a daily basis I say nothing. Instead I am forever looking for and mostly finding the silver lining.

Unfortunately, one of the side effects of keeping things inside is that it causes me to suffer from anxiety on and off. It is something that I am aware of and is an ongoing work in progress.

So, as I said, I had this little break down yesterday and vented for the better part of the day. What happened after this giant mind dump is of no surprise to me….. I. Felt. Better.

Some of the things that I finally expressed out loud?

Although I’ve always wanted to be a stay at home mom, it is hard.

Although I wouldn’t trade my girls for anything, I never planned to have two toddlers at the same time.

Although I love the life and family that god has given me, I sometimes wish I could run away.

Although raising children IS like being pecked to death by a chicken, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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About Sara

Sara is just your average rural mommy trying to balance life as a wife, mom of 3 girls (ages 12, 4, & 2) and blogger…and how she doesn't always succeed. When she's not wrangling kiddos she enjoys writing, gardening, and trying out new recipes. Connect with Sara on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+ to follow her journey to parental bliss!

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  1. I definitely have days like this. Thank goodness I have my two blessings in my life though – wouldn’t trade it for the world – but a day of appreciation sure would be nice (by that I mean a day off!)
    Leigh
    Leigh @oneandoneequalstwinfun.com recently posted…Irish Beer and Beef PieMy Profile

    • I hear you, Leigh! I love my girls more than anything BUT yeah a day off would be amazing! Only sixteen or so more years for me…lol!

  2. It can get really overwhelming. What is important is that you truly love your family, and you are doing the best you can. I think it is wonderful that you are honest about the fact that anxiety can be a serious affect of internalizing, and the first step toward easing that anxiety is being really honest about it. Thank you so much for sharing.

    • Thanks for your kind words, Rhonda. That’s one of the reasons I started blogging in the first place. I needed a place to vent and get some of this stuff out. It really does help to write down what is going on in my head sometimes. :)

  3. That’s a pretty good description! I have a preschooler as well as a baby who is on the verge of being mobile, but isn’t yet. So it’s the calm before the storm. I suffer from situational anxiety and I just need a good night of sleep and I’m a little afraid what it will be like when he won’t just sit still. I can see his brain working and he’s trying to crawl..yikes!
    Tamara recently posted…Behind the Lens.My Profile

    • Tamara, thankfully I have way more good days than bad but every once in awhile the anxiety creeps up. Lack of sleep can def be a factor for me too. Enjoy that calm before the storm! I will say that even though the toddler years are (in my opinion) the hardest they can also be the most fun. They are learning so much everyday and my god, the things that come out of their mouths…lol!

  4. Pecked to death by chickens? that is wicked funny :) and true… Being a SAHM to two toddlers cannot be easy! Remember to take some time for yourself!
    Raine recently posted…Bad DayMy Profile

  5. the last line sums it all up–WOULDN’T TRADE it EATHER!!!
    Pamela R recently posted…Conscious Box GIVEAWAY ( US ONLY) Ends 3/27My Profile

  6. Oh have I been THERE my friend!! I am SO so glad you got it “out”… you are no different than most everyone in this mom world/woman world. I get it. I get the build up, the anxiety, the burst and final crash. I am just glad you are on the other end of it now. :)
    Chris Carter recently posted…“When Life Gives You Lemons…”My Profile

    • Thanks, Chris! I’m so much of a “Positive Polly” 99% of the time but every so often I will have a minor break down. I honestly think it’s all just part of the process and as long as we don’t let ourselves get overcome by it we’ll come out the other side even stronger. :)

  7. So true!!! Anxiety and mommyhood go hand in hand, at least to a degree. I hope yours improves as the kids get older. It’s certainly gotten better for me. I have found I enjoy the teen years! :)
    Karen Dawkins recently posted…Introducing Staycation in a Box!My Profile

  8. I’m a worry wart, and constantly struggled with the stress of raising my step-daughters, because there is even more pressure if something goes wrong. Somehow I made it though, and that’s all I can tell you, is to just keep going, because it does pay off in the end:) All of your sacrifice will be completely worth it:)
    Courtney~Mommy LaDy Club recently posted…Google Can’t Crawl Your List of SubscribersMy Profile

  9. I only have two kids, but they are twins so I completely agree and understand. :) I found you from UBP 2013.
    Jessica recently posted…Blog Party 2013!My Profile

  10. I’ve done just about every job you can imagine and by far the hardest is being a mom! Hang in there mama.

  11. Love and agree Sara! I love my children but I also love my time for me! I think as parents we often don’t get enough time for ourselves. Love of this piece too.
    Carmen recently posted…The Ultimate Blog Party 2013My Profile

  12. Love and agree Sara! I love my children but I also love my time for me! I think as parents we often don’t get enough time for ourselves. Love of the title of this piece too.
    Carmen recently posted…The Ultimate Blog Party 2013My Profile

  13. I have the same feeling. And I guess every mother feels the same way. I am tired of refereeing my kids fights. Sometimes I wish I can escape. Motherhood challenge you emotionally, and physically. But the unconditional love and caring for another person is what make us women so much beautiful. I’d never trade that with anything.

    Visiting you from thesitsgirls.
    -Honeybee
    Honeybee recently posted…7 Ways to Use Weight Loss Affirmations Effectively to Lose WeightMy Profile

    • I could not agree more, it’s the toughest job in the world but the benefits are priceless! Thanks so much for stopping by. =)

  14. Amen to that. It’s a slow, annoying way to die. And just when you think you had enough of them, your kids do something sweet or adorable or perfect. So you fall in love with them all over again and willingly submit yourself to that vicious cycle called parenting.
    But seriously, despite the challenges, kids are wonderful. Will share and reblog your post!
    Julia Jasmine Sta Romana recently posted…Creating Teachable Moments Everyday In Little WaysMy Profile

    • Haha, it is a vicious cycle, isn’t it? I always tell mine that they’re lucky that they are cute! Thanks for stopping by! =)

  15. Visiting from SITS…what an honest look at what sometimes parenthood can be like. I know exactly how you feel. I had 3 kids under 5 at one point, with a husband (ex now) who was working really long hours. When he came home and on the rare vacations he took with us, he had a hard time being present (little did I realize it wasn’t just work he was preoccupied with). I felt like a single mom. Add to that, I didn’t live near family and we moved a lot so it took time to find a support system. I rarely lost it, but holding it in did take a toll on my emotional and physical health. I think the key is to find ways to get some of your needs met too–it’s healthy for you and it’s great for your girls to see their mom as a whole being, not just a mom. Stay-at-home moms struggle with work-life balance too, just not in the way we would think about it.
    Nicole Nenninger recently posted…10 Ways You Can Change Your Life–Right Now!My Profile

    • Nicole, what great advice! I sometimes forget to take a little time just for me. The role of MOM can be so consuming but every once in awhile it’s nice to take a break and just be Sara, the woman, not the mommy. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your story! I’m sure a lot of us can relate. =)

  16. I have been having this same feeling this week! I am looking forward to the school year ending and having a chance to take a breath and regroup. Happy SITS Day!
    Becky recently posted…Green Your Summer Giveaway HopMy Profile

  17. I think this is the best phrase to describe parenthood I’ve ever heard. It truly is like being slowly pecked to death by a rather fierce and pissed off chicken who wants revenge for something. But I hear it’s all worth it in the end! You sound like you are in the same position as I am age-wise with your 2 younger girls. My boys are 6 and 2….yep. Nough said. Happy SITS Day! I really enjoyed stopping by!!!
    Kendra @ Mommy, In Demand recently posted…Junk Drawer No More!My Profile

    • Haha, I keep hearing that it will be worth it too! My mom has another sign that says, “Grandchildren are the reward you get for not strangling your teenagers” so I’m looking forward to that. ;)
      Sara recently posted…It’s my SITS day!!!My Profile

  18. Love the title of this post!!
    I know the feeling though…glad you let it out and are feeling better :)
    ronnie recently posted…Bad Craft!My Profile

  19. These words are SO true. I also have a preschooler and a one year old that is getting into everything! Except — they are BOYS! I have days like this ALL the time! Great post and you have a really beautiful blog here. Love the colors!! Enjoy your SITS day!
    Nellie recently posted…How To Make a Blog CommercialMy Profile

  20. Tammy Eakes says:

    I would not go back to the days of chasing a toddler to save my life! LOL I enjoyed my children being little but life is much easier now that they are 6 and 9 and much more independent.
    I have blow ups from time to time too – the difference is I feel horrible afterwards. I think it’s because it just all comes pouring out and I hurt feelings along the way. I am trying really hard not to do this and instead think about what I say before I just throw it out there.
    Good luck with your tween – I have one too. She went from the sweetest little angel to a moody little tween over night it seems like. Still love her to death but my goodness…she can make it difficult sometimes. HA
    I found you Sits Girls. Congrats on your Sits day. Stop by my site at http://www.NoSkinnies.com when you have a chance :->
    Thanks!
    http://www.NoSkinnies.com
    Tammy Eakes recently posted…Blast Fat With Kettlebells! Vine Video Included!My Profile

  21. You have my sympathy. My three girls were teenagers all at the same time. What was I thinking? Enjoy your dumps since they do help. One of my favorite sayings is, “When in panic, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!” I love your mother’s saying better. It also applies to teaching. Thanks for the post. Enjoy your SITS Day.
    Sheila Skillingstead recently posted…Back to work with no time to write.My Profile

  22. It is always good to let that stuff out! I hope that you are feeling much much much better. 2 toddlers and a tween…yikes!
    Kelly recently posted…Vegan Mama in the Kitchen: Mock Tuna Salad (w/chickpeas)My Profile

  23. Oh My Goodness! That is the perfect description! Some days when all I hear is “mummy mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy.” I feel EXACTLY like I’m being pecked to death. I’m not feeling like a great mom this week either (oh and I have writer’s block too). My 6 year old is being so defiant and I am sort of at a loss because she hasn’t always been like that. Oh well, in this job, you learn as you go.

    I enjoyed this article and am looking forward to reading more. Happy SITS day!
    Happysuz recently posted…6 Random Facts About MyselfMy Profile

  24. How could I not read a blog post with this title?? You aren’t alone with your conflicting emotions. Parenthood is so hard…..and, like you, I wouldn’t trade it for anything! Stopped by from SITS. Enjoy your SITS day!
    Pam recently posted…An Amazing SurpriseMy Profile

  25. First off, I loved the title of the post!! Second, I have two under two and I can completely relate. I think we just let things build and build until we have that moment of letting it all good. Then we feel better. I really enjoyed post. Happy SITS day.
    Kate recently posted…How I Put My Baby Girl To Bed: A ComedyMy Profile

  26. I had a good cry in the shower the other morning. Scared my husband pretty good, but I felt much better afterwards!
    Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted…Soccer TimeMy Profile

  27. Ugh. I think we’ve all had those bad days as moms. The ones where we question everything and wonder why we don’t have it more together. I’ve come to learn that even the moms that look like they have it together have bad days. Hopefully today is a good day! It has to be, since it’s your SITS Day! :)
    another jennifer recently posted…Walking, Raising Money and Adding TomorrowsMy Profile

  28. I think many SAHMs, WAHM, and moms working outside the home feel like you do. I’m at home with my 6 year old this summer for the first time since he was a year old. No daycare, no summer camp. Just me and him all day. He’s the love of my life. But it’s an adjustment. And it’s barely been a week! I’m being creative and finding ways for him to do things without stopping me from working every 5 minutes. I don’t want him to feel neglected or scared to ask me for something. I just want to be productive.
    Kimberly H. Smith recently posted…Groove MeMy Profile

  29. That’s the paradox, isn’t it? Being a mom is so full of difficulties and unpleasantries, but at the same time, it’s the best job in the world!

    {{ stopping by from SITS }}
    kyfirewife recently posted…The battle rages on…My Profile

  30. Great post! Love the honesty. Whether you’re a SAHM or working mom, being a mom is tough! I definitely have days that I want to run away from it all! But then my girls do or say something absolutely adorable, and I feel better…until they say or do something horrible, and then I’m ready to run away again! ; )
    Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted…5 Things That Suck about Working from HomeMy Profile

    • Haha, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve said, “they’re lucky that they are cute!” I would be a very wealthy woman! ;) Thanks for stopping by!

  31. Beautifully said. Breakdowns are a wonderful gift from God for those of us who don’t know when to take a break. Our bodies force it. And then we feel better. I’m glad you found that healing and admitted some difficult things to yourself. Putting on a happy face is only appropriate for a little while, in my opinion. Putting on a truthful face fits so much better.

    I hope today is a happy place for you.
    misssrobin recently posted…Trying to Be BraveMy Profile

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Robin! I think it can be difficult for us moms to admit that we don’t always have it together but I think that once we make peace with that it helps us to become better parents. Thanks so much for stopping by! :)
      Sara recently posted…It’s my SITS day!!!My Profile

  32. I never got anxiety until I had my son. It’s something I struggle with daily. My best medicine is laughter.
    MomChalant recently posted…You Live And You LearnMy Profile

  33. It is SO hard some days. I’m a full-time working mother and my job gives me so much anxiety on top of the stresses of being a mother. I have a supportive husband who will listen, then suggest that I eat some ice cream, take a nap or warm bath. Praying and asking for strength helps a lot, too!
    Gracielle recently posted…Entertainment Unit Decor – UpdateMy Profile

  34. I can SO relate! I have 4 kids, with the oldest, 19, having flown the coop already, and the youngest, 5, still can’t even reach half the stuff in the house. But, yes, it is soooo worth all the heartaches & troubles (Good Lord, the Teen Years!). Happy SITS day!
    Jean Lynd recently posted…Waterproof Eyeliner Fail (no water required)My Profile

  35. Oh yes it is overwhelming and I think it is so healthy for us to admit that sometimes we don’t like it! This is a great brave post. Thanks for sharing it.
    Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha recently posted…Adding “Coloring” to My To-Do ListMy Profile

  36. Jessica Bevil says:

    As a SAHM of a little boy who is almost 4 & a little girl who is almost 2, I completely understand everything you were saying in this post. Oh yeah- add in the fact that I’m 27 weeks pregnant & yeah… I too have a habit of keeping everything in. But I’m working on it. One day at a time is my current motto. As long as I can make it to bedtime, I’m good. lol
    Jessica Bevil recently posted…5 Ways to Improve Your Product ReviewsMy Profile

  37. I appreciate how honest you are – my writing has gone into a much slower pace in the last couple weeks of school. My children aren’t little anymore but OH! can I ever feel those pecking chickens now!!

    Happy SITS day!
    Julie Jordan Scott recently posted…How to Ignite Your Curiosity One Layer at a TimeMy Profile

  38. That’s a great quote! I might have to frame it. So far I just have one baby (she’s almost 1) but she’s in the stage where she pulls everything off the shelves, tips over tables, pulls the laundry, clothes, dish towels, and plastic bags out of all the drawers, climbs up to eat the fish food, etc. Sometimes you just start to go a little nuts!
    Biddy recently posted…Embarassing MomentsMy Profile

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